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Thu, Oct. 11th, 2007, 01:42 am

I really hope none of this whatever-this-is has made any of you feel like it's directed at you. Gods, I hope not. I love you. I love you all so much. That's part of what's been slowly eating me up, tearing me to bits emotionally. I'll bet what I've done here has taxed a lot of new freindships and... acquaintenceships? Or is going to.

Yar, this tidal wave of fucked-upedness is capsizin' our acquaintence-ships! Quick! To the Manage Friends page! WE LEFT WITH NO CHOICE, CAP'N!

And that's a stupid thing to be concerned about. Kinda late in the game now to reverse it, huh?

Thu, Oct. 11th, 2007 01:42 pm (UTC)
bossgoji

If anything, I'm glad to see this side of you. Keep in mind, this is is your livejournal, the functional term being "journal". It's a place for your personal thoughts, and if anybody has a problem with that they may feel free to fuck off. Reading it is a privilege, not a right.

Fri, Oct. 12th, 2007 01:38 am (UTC)
_candide_

Wow.

I feel for ya. Everything you've posted the past few days. Oh, do I.

I've wondered frequently over the past few years whose life I'm living, 'cuz it sure the hell isn't mine. "This is not my Beautiful House." I've been bottling up so much that I'm frozen in place. That's not me. I barely even know what I want anymore.

I feel eroded. I'm wondering when the breaking point will come. You've clearly hit yours. And it sounds like you have every right to vent.

Let nobody tell you otherwise.

(And if they do, send them to me, and I'll have at 'em.)

Fri, Oct. 12th, 2007 07:15 am (UTC)
masstreble

I feel somehow different now. I'm able to talk in exactly the way that I could not before. It doesn't solve a lot of my problems, but there's certainly something to be said for catharsis. I'll testify in court for it.

Also, your commentary on science and politics is just as awesome as it was back when. Sorry I never said that before, but, well, you know.

Fri, Oct. 12th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
_candide_

Also, your commentary on science and politics is just as awesome as it was back when. Sorry I never said that before, but, well, you know.
Eh, it's just my opinion. But I'm glad to hear someone appreciates it. ^_^

Wed, Oct. 17th, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC)
circuit_four

Heh, that's an important thing for us shy, perenially guilty folk to realize: the distance that things like LJ imposes works both ways, and you generally have to fuck up pretty egregiously to lose your core of friends. As long as either you're nice (which you are ♥) or your friends are total assholes -- which does carry its own sort of swashbuckling morality, I've found -- you can get away with quite a bit. Memories are short here. If worse comes to worse, the single most valuable piece of advice I can offer is: "If you post drama, follow up with something about a puppy." It'll reduce your losses by 95% or more.

Wed, Oct. 17th, 2007 09:34 pm (UTC)
masstreble

I'll have to remember that. I discovered I have the habit of trying to protect people I like from negative things, especially about myself, because I don't think they should have to put up with it. What that leads to is that I kind of burst and get emotional goo all over the place. That can't be a healthy thing, so I'm going to try to, gee-whiz, talk about things. [The drama-puppy combo popularized by the turn of the decade moved into the physical world, leading to wholesale adoption of homeless puppies, leading to a subsequent crash of HoboDog Inc.]