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Wed, Jul. 1st, 2009, 12:36 pm
This is ridiculous.

Thought experiment. You want an apple.

So you go to the store. There are a variety of apples there. They all taste kind of similar, some slightly more to your taste than others, but there's a lot of each. Some of the types of apples are known to go bad really quick, and otherwise they're pretty much indistinguishable from the rest of the mess of apples.

So, why would anybody go for one of the risky apples?

If you grasp this metaphor, you can see why, with well over a hundred emails and several dozen phone calls, I've not secured a place in Boston. I'm a risky apple, and that risk is easily avoidable: I don't have employment there. I cannot unless I have a place there. You see how cyclical that thing is.

This cannot be done playing it straight, as it were. I'm going to need some black magic. I don't know what that is yet. If I don't succeed in this, I'll be homeless, without a vehicle, and without any sort of support. I will have gone from a fully functioning member of society to a transient because of a quirk in a housing market. (I wouldn't be the only one. Exactly this has happened to many thousands of people, and it's going to get worse.)

Wed, Jul. 1st, 2009 07:20 pm (UTC)

I guess what you need is a crazy and/or stupid landlord?

Wed, Jul. 1st, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)

Or roommates, if they're the ones doing the room-filling. And, yes. That's pretty much it. Or somebody desperate.

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 12:26 am (UTC)

Well, good luck with all of those things!

Is there anything more practical I can do to help?

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)

I know this sounds strange, but just talk to or even at me. Distract me with silly Internet things, you know, just keep acting like normal. Sounds small, perhaps even unrelated, right? It's not, social contact right now will help ground me. If I turn totally inwards, I start devouring myself. As in, like, hard vore.

Okay, that went off in an unexpected direction, but you get what I mean, right?

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 04:04 am (UTC)

Alrighty then! I dunno if I have your IMs or not, or if you use IMs, but here's some random internet stuff for you.


Check it out. Those aren't pictures of dolls, those are pictures of women wearing a new brand of makeup specifically designed to make women look like sex dolls. Not just dolls, specifically rubber sex dolls. Isn't that wild?

Do you like Anime? Have you tried watching any of the Abridged anime series that have been popping up? Near as I can figure it started with some guy making Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged, where he re-scripts and dubs each episode of the anime Yu-Gi-Oh. Since then lots of other anime have been Abridged. I've seen Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged, and Dragon Ball Z Abridged just finished the entire Saiyan saga in ten HILARIOUS episodes.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=TeamFourStar&view=videos&start=20 That's DBZ abridged. They don't have their first ep in their channel gallery for some reason, but you can do a search for Dragon Ball Z Abridged Episode 1 and find it. <3

Here, you can take a look at my YouTube favorites. If you find anything interesting, tell me and I'll tell you what I can about it? http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=ReleeSquirrel&view=favorites

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 06:50 pm (UTC)

That's actually quite interesting. I'm not sure what to file that under. It's obviously tempered by irony, whatever it is. Now to see if anything new comes from that. It's reminding me more of the bubble dolls more than anything else.

Oh, yes, the abridged series. I've seen more of the Yugioh ones. My friends and I were occasionally punctuating things with "IN AMERICA" for weeks!

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)

I think it's awesome, there are a lot of people I know who want to look like dolls, including that nice person who lives in my mirror! ;)

Unfortunately the site doesn't offer any links! ... And now that I think of it, those pictures were probably photoshopped besides having the makeup applied. I read an article recently that every magazine alters their images these days, with the expectation that the reader will expect it and know not to believe what they see. ^.^;;

On the Team Fortress 2 server I play on, people keep playing a sound clip from the Magnum Farce episode where everyone says "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight..." and in the background Tristan says, "I don't believe you!"

I get the giggles every time I hear it.

I only found out about Dragon Ball Z abridged about a week or so ago when the latest Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged featured a guest appearance by Ghost Nappa.

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 01:55 am (UTC)

I really genuinely have no idea what to say at the moment.

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 02:10 am (UTC)

I've not given up yet. I'm like a bulldog on the pantleg of inopportunity. Thought of something while we were out today: public housing. The dreaded projects. Their set of standards for entry would be completely different than the standard public housing. To the best of your current knowledge and experience, what say you? The hope is that whatever insane solution I work out to get me a residing address in the city would be cleared away in about half a year after I get settled; I'm just trying to get the damn door open a this point.

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 12:09 pm (UTC)

Possible, but I would think that the projects tend to prefer residents who are local first as well - I still think your best chance is with clusters of other students.

The other problem is that half a year after you get settled will be the dead of winter here, and I think it will be difficult - not impossible - to find other housing then. You *might* get lucky in January because of the middle of the term, but roommate issues are not going to be simple. And most leases are year leases.

If you're going for the projects, I'd look seriously at Lynn, Everett, Revere, and Malden. None of those I would consider the best of areas, but you might find something there?

There is another option: try to find a place that's near a commuter rail stop. My now-ex lived a year in Fitchburg, which is way the heck out there but she was a 10-15 minute walk away from rail that was 90 minutes to Boston. It wasn't nice, but it was cheap ($450/month in 1999) and a foot in the door. You'd also be more likely to find an apartment sans roommate that way.

Along the commuter rail: Things like Salem (35 minutes via commuter rail), Canton (30), Brockton (35), Beverly (40), Attleboro (50), Lowell (50), Stoughton (50), Franklin (60), Newburyport (60), Haverhill (70), Fitchburg (90). Searching Craigslist for "train" or "rail" pops up a few legit things.

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 07:09 pm (UTC)

Reading this I'm kind of awed by the scope of your city. I know Sarnia is pretty small, but it's also large in its own way, and when I think about how much larger 'real' cities must be... it's mind boggling.

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 11:35 am (UTC)

I cannot have much advice on the situation, but! I have praise for maintaining temerity and relentlessness in the difficult situation. I'm sure you will come across the solution if you keep it up!

Thu, Jul. 2nd, 2009 10:38 pm (UTC)

I wish you well, and think explody capitalism thoughts for you.