April 28th, 2009

confused, angry

Hopefully I can show you.

Eaaauuuuck. Where does the time go? Between the stuff I must do, like preparing for moveageddon (perhaps movepocalypse?), the domestic day-to-day stuff and work with it's terrible middle-of-the-day hours and day-off disaster spread, I haven't had the time for my own projects, which sucks, because I'm starting to make some progress as of late. For all the bitching I've done around the apartment, Inkscape is a viable vector illustration tool for how I want to work, just... it could easily be better. Hell, I could be better with it, that's a big factor right there. And every minute I work, like, really work, the more I realize just how much I need work. My skills are approaching a brutal do-or-die point, in which I either completely self-destruct and my corpse will stagnate in perpetual mediocrity or... I'm afraid to say this for cursing myself but actually improving right up into viability, perhaps even sophistication in the far future. That idea somehow manages to scare me. I've never prepared myself for success. In any case, for that to happen, I'm going to need to put myself through the grinder, I'm going to need to learn to isolate myself from distracting meatspace stuff, and I'm going to need... time.

Like I said. Eaaauuuuuuck.